Has anyone or anything ever made you feel so happy that your world literally starts to spin ? The blissful feeling almost like vertigo where you feel you have to hold onto something to stop yourself falling.
I’ve been fortunate because there have been times in my life when I’ve experienced this very feeling myself. Sometimes the cause was created by some large occurrence, sometimes just a little thing happening. Whichever, the feeling is one so powerful to me it is almost overwhelming and yet remains something so wonderful. I’ve often questioned myself as to what exactly was causing the feeling and how do I keep it, can I keep it ?
The feeling…is it purely a physical manifestation of my dreams actually coming true? This euphoric state created by synapses firing making my endorphins go into overdrive because in that chemical soup in my head something unfathomable has been triggered ?
My brain is a weird organ…it has the manipulative ability to make me happy or sad and being part of me you would think I exert some control over it; but sometimes I believe it’s as if there is a part of my brain that is in itself a separate sentient being and the rest of me just a puppet it is controlling on a whim. My subconcious steering me on my path through life choosing it’s own moments to make me feel happy or down in the dumps.
I hate feeling sad and depressed and yet I sometimes am…why ?…What possible benefits are there to the negative feelings I feel from time to time ? Why do I let myself feel sad knowing how much damage it does to me and to those around me ?
I often have no idea on the cause of the sadness, it just appears to sneak up and catching me unaware whacks me around the head. Yet sometimes it’s as if my subconscious chooses to be sadistic and it informs my conscious self of exactly what the cause is – often in this case the solution is out of my control which makes the feeling even worse. Sometimes no matter how hard I try I don’t seem to have the ability to snap myself out of it, sometimes others’ actions are the only thing that helps.
I wish I always knew the solution…I wish my life could always be happy (don’t we all I guess)… I wonder though whether the answer is a simple as without the darkness you cannot experience the sunrise ? Whether the darker your experiences the more that the light counts for.
And every time that light re-enters my life, every time the sun shines once again, I am thankful as once again I can experience the vertigo of bliss.