Most of you may have heard of Britain’s Got Talent. If not you will more than likely have heard of its creator a Mr Simon Cowell. When I was younger there was a programme run on basically the same format called Opportunity Knocks hosted over the years by guys such as Hughie Green and Bob Monkhouse. Now I am not for one minute suggesting there has been any form of plagiarism but they are uncannily similar in that both are talent shows where people and even animals via for a public vote prior to the winner being launched on their way to super-stardom.
I was wondering earlier that if I was presented with an opportunity (pardon the pun) to audition for either of the shows just exactly what would my talent be that I would demonstrate? It’s here that my insecurity starts to raise it’s ugly head.
Now I know I can’t sing, actually that’s not strictly accurate as I can sing with the best of them. That is unless of course you actually want to be listening to a tuneful rendition of whatever it is I happen to be warbling along to in which case I’m not the best by a long chalk.
Neither can I dance, although I haven’t got the proverbial ‘two left feet’, the last time I danced (aside from drunken dance floor forays at various weddings etc) was when I learnt to Ballroom dance in University as a favour to a friend who needed accompanying and although my ego is already kicking me for stating this….I wasn’t exactly brilliant at it (in my defence neither was she and it does apparently take ‘Two to Tango’ ! ).
My musical talent only extends to being able to play Chopsticks on the piano or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the recorder so that’s out.
I can juggle but things go a bit pear-shaped when I have to keep more than three objects in the air at once – I once got asked to leave a supermarket for juggling eggs in the aisle but that’s another story (knew I should have stuck with the quarter dozen !).
I used to be very good at sports but middle age has put paid to the majority of those – recovery from injury appears to take aeons rather than weeks and being older now injury is much more prevalent – so no more extreme hula-hooping for me.
So where does that leave me aside from me realising when talents were being handed out I was obviously somewhat far down the line ? Feeling very vulnerable with a deflated self-image is where. Am I actually good at anything? The more I think about it the worse it gets…the feeling is not one of humbleness but something way darker. It’s quite depressing to know you are just average or even below average – maybe I should have applied myself more or maybe I did and this is as good as it gets.
So until Mr Cowell comes up with a newer version entitled ‘Insecurity Knocks’ I will just have to resign myself to the fact that I’m probably never going to be good enough and Super-Stardom is for me just a pipe dream.