I was reading a piece last night on psychoanalysis. Whilst I’d heard of the term before, I read that my ‘Id’ is responsible for my basic drives. Just like yours is to you it knows no judgements of value: no good and evil, no morality…it creates a fine balance between a desire for life and a desire for destruction.
We carry out reflex actions because of the tension caused by these contrary impulses in the Id. We strive to separate ourselves from pain and migrate towards pleasure…Freud called resultant actions we carry out seeking the ‘pleasure principle’. As we mature our Ego develops and we get a much better control on how we handle the Id and it’s effect on our life and all its interactions.
Or so the theory goes…
I wonder whether somewhere along the way my ego didn’t actually develop properly…I am sitting here right now reflecting on how I may well in the past have upset others and caused them pain because I didn’t grasp the reality of the situation. Instead it was my own basic drives that led me down the route I was following.
It didn’t mean whatever I did was wrong, maybe for both it was the exact right thing but the timing was out, just that whatever the result I didn’t mean any harm, in fact completely the opposite. I wish there was a way to let them all know I’m sorry and explain that if I did upset them at least I now know who to blame … my own personal ‘Monster from the Id’.